Rev. David Holwick V
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
July 14, 2002
Colossians 3:20-21
ENCOURAGE OBEDIENCE
I. LESSON OF VBS - IT IS HARD TO CONTROL KIDS.
A. Leading outdoor VBS skits to three different age groups.
1) All of them paid rapt attention to my speeches.
2) Each one was a little darling.
3) I am glad VBS is over...
B. Different age groups - oldest can be the worst behaved.
C. Paul's advice - economy in words but big in implications.
II. CHILDREN THROUGH HISTORY.
A. Place of children in ancient world.
1) Very much under the domination of parents, esp. fathers.
2) William Barclay:
Romans believed in "Patria Potestas," the law of the
father's power.
Under it a parent could do anything he liked with his
child.
He could sell him into slavery; he could make him work
like a labourer on his farm.
He had even the right to condemn his child to death
and to carry out the execution.
All the privileges and rights belonged to the parent
and all the duties to the child.
William Barclay
Commentary on Colossians
B. Place of kids in our modern world.
1) Youth-centered culture.
a) Often manipulated by adults - cereal ads, etc.
b) Ironically, we expect them to be adults immediately.
2) Personal autonomy of children.
a) Important information (abortion) can be withheld from
parents.
b) Autonomy can be a cover for parental abandonment.
1> We say kids are our highest priority, but are they?
3) Disobedience and alienation of generations often result.
C. Note that Paul directly addresses the children.
1) They were a normal part of the early church, and ours.
2) Word for "children," tecknia, probably focuses on teenagers
rather than little kids.
3) They are not puppets or pawns but responsible humans.
III. OBEDIENCE.
A. Family authority flows from the top down.
1) Christian children are to acknowledge this authority.
2) More than acknowledge: Matthew 21:28-30
a) Jesus' parable of the two sons.
b) One says "yes" and doesn't do it; other says "no",
then does it.
c) Which one obeyed?
3) Obedience is not good intentions but actions.
a) Positive - do what parents say.
b) Negative - don't do what they warn about.
B. Are there limitations?
1) Paul says "obey in everything."
a) Can lead to unbiblical stances - what if parents say
"Don't believe Jesus"?
b) Paul keeps it vague so they can rely on experience
and wisdom.
2) Limitations are implied on other issues.
a) Obey government, but God trumps Caesar.
b) Slaves and freedom. 1 Corinthians 7:21
3) Limitations are valid but put emphasis on core of his
teaching, not loopholes.
C. Doing what pleases the Lord.
1) A child's ultimate accountability is to God.
a) Even more important than pleasing your parents.
2) Kids can know God.
a) (VBS...)
3) Kids can obey God and parents.
a) Kids can make responsible and spiritual choices.
b) When they do not, society becomes unhinged.
IV. WHO WIELDS "THE BELT"?
A. Paul turns the focus on fathers.
1) They are usually ones who cause bitterness in kids.
a) Reformer Martin Luther had trouble saying Lord's Prayer
because of harshness of his dad.
2) Fathers can be force for good or evil.
a) "Focus on the Family" and popularity of Mother's Day
over Father's Day - in prisons.
b) Men with no bond to fathers are more likely to end up
in jail. (but everyone loves their mother.)
c) We need dads:
An article appeared in USA Today on June 13 titled,
"'Father' means more than household master."
The writer, Patricia Pearson, asserts that fathers are
essential for healthy and proper growth of children.
She notes that a host of studies persist in pointing
out that kids do better socially, emotionally and
intellectually when dads are present.
One of the problems not addressed in America is how men
define fatherhood.
Pearson makes a point that reaches to the heart of
America.
The question also reaches to the heart of Christians,
and we must ask, "Is her understanding of fatherhood
compatible with what God says in his Bible?"
Without doubt, dads do make a difference in the lives
of their children.
#17419
B. Fill in the gaps on how to discipline.
1) Old Testament emphasizes corporal punishment.
a) Examples:
Proverbs 13:24
"He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who
loves him is careful to discipline him."
Proverbs 22:15
"Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the
rod of discipline will drive it far from him."
Proverbs 23:13-14
"Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you
punish him with the rod, he will not die.
Punish him with the rod and save his soul from
death."
b) Spanking is back in the news.
1> One researcher claims it makes kids more violent.
2> Other experts say a balanced approach is needed.
A> (and most of us spank less than we were spanked)
2) Examples of Biblical bad fathers:
a) Eli. 1 Samuel 2:12-17,22-24
1> Disengaged father, no clue as to what is going on.
2> Sons engaged in extortion and loose women.
b) David. 1 Kings 1:5-6
1> Disengaged father.
2> He focused on too many relationships (ie, polygamy).
A> His family(ies) were at odds.
3> Several sons tried to overthrow him.
c) Hezekiah. 1 Kings 21
1> Failed to pass his religious values to his kids.
2> Typical scenario: good king had lousy sons.
3) New Testament emphasizes positive input of spirituality.
a) Timothy learned the Bible from his mother and
grandmother.
b) Paul formed father-like bonds with Timothy and
others.
V. FATHERS HAVE A POSITIVE ROLE.
A. Be engaged without being overbearing.
1) It is easy to become hyper-critical.
2) Give them encouragement.
3) Give them forgiveness.
There's a Spanish story of a father and son who had become
estranged.
The son ran away, and the father set off to find him.
He searched for months to no avail.
Finally, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father
put an ad in a Madrid newspaper.
The ad read:
Dear Paco, meet me in front of this newspaper office
at noon on Saturday.
All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father.
On Saturday 800 Pacos showed up, looking for forgiveness
and love from their fathers.
#9089
B. Give them high values.
A man sent a letter to Ann Landers.
He wrote, "This is for the woman who was distressed about
her son.
I would like to ask her some questions about the boy.
Is he disrespectful?
Has he been arrested for drunk driving?
Has he been kicked out of college for cheating?
Has he made his girl friend pregnant?
Does he get failing grades?
Does he steal money from your purse?"
"If you can answer 'No' to all these questions, stop
complaining.
You have a great kid."
It was signed, "Ralph N., Oakland, CA."
Ann Landers replied, "Your letter showed just how much
times have changed.
You said that if a kid today isn't on drugs,
doesn't get failing grades,
hasn't been arrested for drunk driving, or
kicked out of college for cheating,
hasn't made his girl friend pregnant, or
stolen from your purse, that he's great.
But you make no mention of achievement.
There's not a word about integrity, a sense of
responsibility, decency, morality or service to others."
She then added, "What a sad commentary on our times. Good
Lord, where is our nation headed, and who is going to
lead us there?"
#17422
VI. HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER?
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
# 9089 "A Father Forgives Paco," from Bits & Pieces, October 15, 1992,
page 13; Fredericksburg Bible Illustrator Supplements.
#17419 "Learning The Essence Of Being A Family Man," by Claude Thomas,
Baptist Press, http://www.baptistpress.org/, July 8, 2002.
#17422 "What Is A Good Kid?" by Melvin Newland, www.sermoncentral.com,
weekly newsletter by email, July 8, 2002.
These and 20,000 others are part of a database that can be downloaded,
absolutely free, at http://illust.holwick.com
=========================================================================
Commentary:
R.C. Lucas
==========
I. Daring to summarize complex relationships in short text.
A. Controlling theme is the rule of Christ.
II. Obedience is appropriate illustration of what submission means.
A. No constructive relationship can be secured without obedience.
B. Disobedient children are among most alarming signs of decaying
Christian culture.
III. "In everything" raises difficulties.
A. He leaves it to their experience and wisdom to figure out.
B. Elsewhere he qualifies his own rules. 1 Cor 7:21
1) We should be careful not to emphasize exceptions.
IV. "for this pleases" - conventional social value.
A. Paul is not merely sanctifying contemporary standards.
B. In Bible, spoiled children rarely learn to serve God.
V. The other side of the relationship - obligation of fathers.
A. Problem fathers are most often cause of problem children.
B. Encouragement requires creativity.
1) Stir them to do and be what otherwise would not have been
achieved.
2) Discouraged children are lacking in self-confidence.
VI. All the instruction requires the rule of Christ to be successful.
A. Families require mutual dependence.
