Rev. David Holwick ZJ Family Improvement #6
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
November 7, 2004
Genesis 4:3-9
MY BROTHER'S KEEPER?
I. A cautionary tale from the Bible.
A. Falwell's heritage.
Most people have heard of Rev. Jerry Falwell.
You probably are not aware of his family background.
Jerry's father, Carey Falwell, ran bootleg whiskey during
Prohibition.
He later ran a nightclub called the Merry Garden in
Lynchburg, Virginia.
At the core of Carey Falwell's soul was a sad bitterness.
He had a shoot-out with his wild brother Garland and
ended up killing him with a shotgun in self-defense. #236
This calls to mind a story in the Bible...
B. Cain and Abel. Genesis 4
1) Out of anger and selfishness, he kills his own brother.
a) God poses a question - where is he?
b) Cain's cynical response - "Am I my brother's keeper?"
2) God's implied answer - "Yes!"
a) Not just wrong to kill him.
b) Also wrong to not care about him or his situation.
c) We have an obligation to other people, and that
obligation is strongest for our families.
C. Some things are not up to you.
1) You get the family you get, like it or not.
a) You have no choice about your family.
b) Even if you are adopted - they had a choice, not you.
1> We can choose to disown them, but we cannot escape
our heritage.
2) Our siblings mold us and bug us.
3) Important questions:
a) How strong should family ties be?
b) What is our obligation to family members?
c) What are the limits?
II. Siblings in the Bible.
A. Blended families had a difficult time.
1) Common to have half-siblings due to polygamy.
2) Often they were literally at each other's throats.
B. Common themes:
1) Jealousy for attention. (Joseph and brothers)
a) Classic revenge story becomes one of grace.
2) Fear of their anger. (Jacob and Esau)
3) Greed for money and power. (David's sons)
An elderly man on the beach found a magic lamp.
He picked it up and a genie appeared.
"Because you have freed me," the genie said, "I will grant
you a wish."
The man thought for a moment and then responded, "My
brother and I had a fight 30 years ago and he hasn't
spoken to me since.
I wish that he'll finally forgive me."
There was a thunderclap, and the genie declared, "Your wish
has been granted."
"You know," the genie continued, "most men would have asked
for wealth or fame.
But you only wanted the love of your brother.
Is it because you are old and dying?"
"No way!" the man cried.
"But my brother is, and he's worth about $60 million."
#1001
4) Total breakdown. (Cain and Abel)
C. Strengths of family ties:
1) Bonds that last a lifetime.
2) Help in time of need.
a) Proverbs 18:24 -- "...there is a friend who sticks
closer than a brother."
b) This is a backhanded complement for a brother - we
assume there will be closeness there.
3) Genuine brotherly love.
Dan Clark tells the story of a friend, Paul, who received
an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present.
On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street
kid was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it.
"Is this your car, Mister?" he asked.
Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas."
The boy was astounded. "Boy, I wish..."
He hesitated.
Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for - he was
going to wish he had a brother like that.
But what the kid said jarred Paul all the way down to his
heels.
"I wish," the boy went on, "that I could be a brother like
that." #4500
4) Jesus uses the bonds of family to illustrate our bond to
God.
III. Where are we obligated?
A. Maintain contact.
1) Phone calls and cards.
2) Holiday and vacation visits.
3) Talk to them (calls and cards) and offer encouragement:
Isaiah 41:6 "...each helps the other and says to his
brother, 'Be strong!'"
B. Help them.
1) Proverbs 17:17 -- "A friend loves at all times, and a
brother is born for adversity."
2) Loan/give money.
3) Shelter them.
a) They should always welcome in your house.
4) Our care for our siblings shows our true faith --
1 Timothy 5:8 -- "If anyone does not provide for his
relatives, and especially for his immediate family,
he has denied the faith and is worse than an
unbeliever.
a) Families should be our first line of defense.
C. Reconcile with them.
1) Many families have serious issues.
a) In this church, there are siblings who do not talk.
b) Proverbs 18:19 -- "An offended brother is more
unyielding than a fortified city."
2) Follow the biblical advice to reconcile quickly, before
the sun goes down.
D. Pray for them and witness to them.
1) Families can be key to evangelism.
a) Note extended families of Christians in New Testament.
2) Act like a Christian among them!
IV. Limits of obligation.
A. Family obligations change over time and distance.
1) With marriage, we leave parents and cling to spouse.
a) (funerals - kids and spouse get most attention.
Siblings can seem to be invisible.)
b) Immediate families take precedence.
2) Reality - it is easy for distance to lessen ties.
Proverbs 27:10 -- "...do not go to your brother's house
when disaster strikes you - better a neighbor nearby
than a brother far away."
B. Siblings have free will.
1) We cannot make their decisions.
2) We cannot force them to do good.
C. Closeness and love are not guaranteed.
1) All siblings are sinners.
2) Jeremiah 9:4 -- "Beware of your friends; do not trust your
brothers. For every brother is a deceiver..."
V. Brothers are eternal.
A. "Brother" is a common Christian designation.
1) More significant than brothers in a family are brothers
(and sisters) in Christ.
2) Seek the salvation of your family.
B. Will your family's "circle be unbroken"?
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
# 236 "Jerry Falwell's Dad," by Jerry Falwell in "Strength For The Journey",
1987, pages 13ff.
#1001 "Forgiveness Is Worthwhile," Joan C. Brown, Reader's Digest, September
1989, page 101.
#4500 "A Brother Like That," Dan Clark, Chicken Soup Of The Day internet
newsletter, January 2, 1999.
These and 25,000 others are part of a database that can be downloaded,
absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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